A Light In The Darkness
by I Dream of Scotty
Summary: Jane and Lisbon's relationship has always been multi-tonal. A little one-shot showing a moment between the two of them as they each quietly reflect on how they feel about each other. Jisbon.


A/N: This is set during season five, somewhere before the episode 'There will be blood'. It was just something I felt I needed to write, hope you like it. :-)

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Mentalist**

Teresa Lisbon watched the droplets of rain as they cascaded down the window of her office at the CBI. It was a slow day, they hadn't caught a case and her afternoon was filled with hours of paperwork. The sound of the rain outside and the sleeping consultant on her couch offered her a strange sense of comfort. She picked up the cup of coffee that sat on her desk and took a sip of the warm liquid therein, savoring its taste. She smiled, musing that this was not how she had pictured her life, but as strange as it may have sounded, she was happy. She had everything she needed right there. She looked over to the slumbering Patrick Jane and contemplated how one person had managed to make such an impact upon her life without really trying. He was an enigma. She wondered how someone so troubled and torn and could bring such sunshine and warmth into her day. Setting her cup down, she opened the paper bag that sat on her desk and reached for a bear-claw. She smiled as she brought it to her lips before taking a bite of the delicious pastry that Jane had bought for her not twenty minutes ago. The rain had started to come down more heavily and the soothing sound of the water droplets hitting the window pane soon lulled her into a calm, relaxed frame of mind. She let her thoughts wonder, as the sweet taste of the bear-claw set off a torrent of warm feelings which began to flow through both her body and mind.

Her eyes settled on his golden curls. In the gloomy light they appeared to glow softly and Lisbon wondered what it would be like to gently run her fingers through those shimmering locks. She sighed, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath he took. It was only at times like these that she could really be honest with her feelings for him. When she knew he wasn't observing her, when she wasn't standing face to face with him and he could see her feelings reflected in her eyes, as she could see his. That was too dangerous. But there, in the still of her office, she could let them out to play, allowing herself to fully experience the love and tenderness she felt as she watched him sleep, the rush of affection that flooded through her at the thought that he had ventured out in the pouring rain just to get her something to eat. She sighed. It was not the kind of relationship she'd ever dreamt she'd have but, for the moment at least, she was content.

The sound of the rain hitting the window had woken Patrick Jane from his catnap. He lay there on Lisbon's couch, eyes closed, not wanting to disturb her. He could hear her opening the bag from Marie's and was glad that she was finally eating something. He worried about her; more than he should perhaps. His feelings for her were growing each day and although he did a good job in suppressing them, he knew, sooner or later there would come a time when he could no longer be able to contain them, or worse, would no longer want to contain them. He sometimes felt that his life was one giant hamster wheel with him in the middle, watching as it spins round. Sometimes it seemed as though tragedy followed him everywhere he went, like a dark shadow that he just couldn't shake. There were times he hid in that shadow, as if it somehow protected him, preventing the world from seeing who he really was. He denied himself happiness, afraid that if he ever felt joy again the shadow of tragedy would once again take it away from him, like a jealous lover, causing heartache and pain to both him and to those around him. He thought back to the time when he confessed his love for her. He had been away from Lisbon for six agonizing months, longing to see her face, yearning to talk to her, to banter and to see her smile. Day after day he berated himself for all the stress and pain he knew he was putting her through and when he finally held her in his arms it had all come tumbling out. And his vengeful shadow had made him take it back afterwards, made him watch as it sent a silent dagger through her heart. Punished him for daring to speak of love again. He didn't want to put her through that. She was the only good thing in his life, the one thing he had to look forward to each day when he came into work. She deserved to be happy and although he so desperately wanted to be the one to give that to her, deep down he wondered if he ever really could. He didn't deserve her.

He listened as she ate and once she had finished he decided to make a show of slowly stretching and yawning, letting her know that he was now awake. He turned his head to face her and smiled and was greeted by a warm smile in return. "Hey Lisbon."

"Hey! Did you have a nice nap?"

He noted she sounded cheerful; the sugar from the bear-claw must have perked her up.

"I feel wonderful!" he told her, slowly standing up. "Nothing like an afternoon nap to make you feel refreshed." He walked over to her desk. "Still doing this paperwork I see."

Lisbon nodded, "Half of this is your fault you know!" she told him and he smiled. He loved the way she teased him, the expression of mock annoyance at times like these which thinly masked all the affection she felt for him. He knew she was trying her best to hide it; but he saw through her attempts, she was such a terrible liar. He knew how deeply she cared about him, how she had put her career on the line time after time for him. Sometimes when he would look into her eyes he felt as though he was peering into her very soul and the love he saw there both touched his heart and scared him deeply. He felt that after all he had put her through; he did not deserve her love. But as much as he thought this way, in his heart, he was glad she was there, in his life.

The smile on Jane's face set her heart aglow and for a moment it felt as though the sun had peeked through the clouds outside, letting a little light into the otherwise gloomy office. Even after all the pain he had put her through; she still got pleasure in seeing joy on his face, in seeing happiness there, even if it was short-lived, and it usually was. She looked at him, noticing how the worry lines on his face and the slight sadness that constantly haunted his eyes proved a striking contrast to the mask he was trying to put up. She looked into those troubled eyes and wondered if there was anything she could do to take that pain away. She wondered if the ghost of his tragedy would ever leave him; even after the monster that had caused it was put away or killed. She wanted to tell him how much she cared but each time she tried the words would fall short of her lips, and fall back down into her heart, like the raindrops on the window. So she did the only thing she could; she smiled and offered him her company. "I could use some coffee." She said as she rubbed at her tired eyes.

"You've already had five cups today Lisbon, any more and you'll be running around the place like a headless chicken!"

Lisbon tried her best to suppress a smile at that thought. She sometimes secretly loved Jane's protectiveness of her, though she would never let him know that, so she decided to pout instead. It touched her heart that he cared for her, although at times she found it hard to believe that he did.

Jane looked at the pouting expression on her face and chuckled quietly, "I have a much better idea," he told her, all the time trying to read her thoughts. Things had sort of settled down between them after the whole Las Vegas fiasco but he knew that she still carried the hurt around. He knew he had betrayed her on many counts and he hated himself each day for the way he had treated her heart. He wanted to talk to her about it but he knew it would probably only lead to more pain and heartbreak and the two of them have had enough of that already. He looked at her and found himself in awe at the depth of her compassion. Even after he had hurt her, she had taken him back. Not just at work where he was by her side as her partner again but as her friend too. She had forgiven him and he would be forever indebted to her for that.

Lisbon knew that although they had on the surface put the past behind them, there was still a lot of unspoken issues hovering in the background, like phantoms, waiting to jump out at them without warning. She knew it would only be a matter of time before the specter of past mistakes would rear its ugly head again but for now they would not speak of it. She was just glad he was back again, with her, safe, and the sun could still shine in her world. She knew he did his best to hide his feelings and under the almost childlike act he sometimes put up there was something far darker lurking in the shadows.

But what she didn't realise was that he knew she could see through that dazzling smile, through to the broken heart that beat within him. The dark side of the sun. She saw it and she was still there. Day after day, after everything he'd done, she was still there, still loved him and it humbled him deeply. He opened the door of her office, "Tea?" he suggested and she rolled her eyes at him as the two of them headed to the break-room. They both knew that there would be troubled times ahead, but they had each other, a light in the darkness of their lives, one that they each hoped would guide them safely through.


End file.
